Be Your Own Hype Woman
The memory of one of the most loneliest seasons of my life still resonates deep.
I had just moved back to Canada after living in New Jersey for a year as a live-in nanny, and when I returned it seemed like everyone had moved on in their lives without me.
I had left my life in Canada to move to New Jersey during a time of much needed self-reevaluation. I had started down a path in life that was not leading where God had wanted me, so I needed a time out. I jokingly refer to this time as my quarter life crisis, as I headed to New Jersey to refocus and reprioritize.
When I came back to Canada, focused and determined on a plan towards the ministry and plan God had for me, everyone had moved on, some literally.
It was a very isolating season for me.
It seemed no one had time or cared to make time for me, and though I understood that friends and family had become accustomed to not having me in their day to day and were on their own life journeys, it still hurt; especially when I felt I was on track with what God had for me and there was no one to share it with.
Even when I was able to have moments with these friends, emotionally they felt so far away.
One night in particular, after I came home from spending time with friends, my heart felt so empty and I felt so devastated with where my relationships were at. It seemed like no matter how much time and attention I poured into them it was not reciprocated- that night, all I could do was sit on the floor and cry. I felt so alone.
This was a major turning point for me.
Even though I felt utterly alone with the people in my life, I knew God was there and that God wanted me to continue moving in the direction He was putting on my heart.
I realized that in these moments I needed to cheer myself on- I needed to be my own hype woman.
I could have let the feelings of disappointment take over and let my sadness and loneliness derail me from walking in the vision God had laid before me, but God gave me a spirit of determination to keep pushing forward.
You see, sometimes during our biggest growing seasons is where we feel most alone. Changing our ways as we grow may mean leaving behind the ways of our past- which may mean not everyone goes with us, or that everyone understands us. There are also times where God will remove people so that He can grow things within us.
In this season I had to cheer myself on; every morning I had to wake up and encourage myself to keep going, reminding myself it was not always going to feel this way. I was my only cheerleader for this season of life.
I had to learn to be ok with it just being me in this growing season as I was learning all the skills and gifts I needed for the plans God had for me.
One of the biggest things I learned in this season is that one of the prime assets/aids of growth is being ok on your own. You may lose connections as you grow, and at the end of the day it is just you and God- so you need to be ok with being alone at times or in certain seasons of your life.
John C. Maxwell says in his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, that in growing we must be intentional; and that you must go out of your way to seize growth opportunities as if your future depends on it. Why? Because it does.
We must be intentional about growing especially in these isolating seasons. If we are not intentional about moving forward in our growth, we’ll never change, and we will never reach the destination God has for us.
Maxwell also says that when you do what you want to do, it will be more difficult than you ever imagined.
Life is not always going to be easy, and we might not always have people by our side cheering us on; but consider this, what if in those seasons where we feel most alone and where you may be the only person who cares about your vision, that you become your own hype woman?
What if your mindset was thinking of ways to cheer yourself on, instead of focusing on the loneliness?
What can you do this week to cheer yourself on towards your vision and goals?
How can you become your own hype woman?