God’s Perfect Timing
This past week things have officially been put into motion for my fertility plan to freeze my eggs so that my Oncology Drs can remove my ovaries as a preventative measure of getting cancer.
I was contacted by my fertility Dr at Ottawa Fertility, Dr. Jackson, and was given information for a course I had to take before we got into the consent paperwork for the procedure.
The information module was mostly just an informative session that took me 2 hours to digest all the information, the risks involved and percentage of success.
The procedure is quite time consuming. I’m not sure how someone would be able to do this working a full time job. You’d need many days off, or the flexibility of being able to go into the Fertility Center daily.
There are four different types of egg removal procedures that can be done and the one that I am doing is called the Estrogen Patch Protocol. In this treatment I apply estrogen patches 5-7 days until my cycle starts, and then I meet with a nurse to see how many more I may need to stimulate egg growth. This is the pre-stimulation phase. Then during the stimulation phase I will start my stimulation medical injections daily and on day 7 or 8 I have an ultrasound to see how stimulation is working; sometimes I may need daily ultrasounds for up to possibly 5 days depending on stimulation and I may need to continue injections for 8-12 days. I also may need to have blood work done too. Then my eggs need to be matured in a process called Stimulation Trigger, and when all the tests show the eggs have matured and are ready to be removed then we have the procedure of removing of my eggs. I'm hoping I've understood this right.
So basically it's a lot of medication to develop eggs (the more the better) and lots of ultrasounds and tests to see how they are coming along before the removal process. I will also have to take a side medication that will help counter the extra hormones I will be getting through this process as my cancer gene feeds off of hormones. The more/extra hormones going into my body the more chance of flaring up the potential cancer in my body.
I was thinking about the process and all the things I will have to be available for and to complete and I am not sure how I could have done any of this working full time and especially working night shifts.
When I work night shifts I would sleep during the day but during this procedure I need to be available to go into Ottawa at a moments notice so it would’ve been very difficult. Not to mention that I feel I might have had a terrible shot doing this while working nights. When would my body rest?
Fertility and our body’s health in general depend on our rest. Our bodies heal and grow so much during our sleep that I might’ve jeopardized this process working shift work.
It’s moments like these where I am so aware and so thankful for God's perfect timing.
I am one to admit that I don’t always feel God's timing is for me. If life isn’t going the way I want it to or things aren’t happening in the ways I want I feel things will fail- but then I’m reminded of God's perfect timing.
I originally wanted to start the egg retrieval process back in the fall but I was working full time and was starting to feel worse with vertigo as a new symptom.
God knew I needed this process to start in February when I had been away from my job for at least a month- a month of good sleep and a regular circadian rhythm. By being better rested I’m giving my body a better chance to respond well to the medication that will help produce more eggs.
When going over predictions for my egg retrieval my doctor felt pretty certain (as Dr’s cannot give 100% guarantees) that we should get at least 8 eggs, the range was 6-10. That works for me.
This egg retrieval process is simply an insurance policy for me. My Oncology doctors don’t want to take my ovaries until I’m 40, 45 at the latest, and want to make sure that I have done all I can to have children naturally first as IVF is not a sure bet.
Part of the course I had to take for this also went over potential risks and success rate percentages, which for my age the success rate is 45-48% chance I can get pregnant with IVF.
I do have some anxiety around whether or not I will get to have children naturally before having to resort to this procedure. My fertility doctor wanted me to pursue the idea of having a donor and to have a child on my own- and though it’s incredibly tempting I truly feel that children need both a father and a mother figure in their life for their emotional/mental health and their sense of identity. I don’t think it would be well for my child to not know who their father is.
So I am waiting on God. I have chosen to live the life He has wanted for me. I have made choices that I felt God wanted me to make and I feel peace in all I’ve chosen to do. It’s definitely hard in that I didn’t think I would have to wait this long to be a mom- but if this is God's plan for me I have to believe that He will make a way. I need to trust that this is the plan that is best for me.
I hope that the wait won't be much longer- but as I’m reminded through this process, God's timing is perfect and it will come together in the way it’s supposed to.
As I am writing this I just received a phone call from Ottawa Fertility to let me know that one of the medications that wasn't going to be covered by OHIP that I was initially told was going to cost $400, is now only going to cost me $100. That's a miracle to an unemployed lady,
As always, thanks for spending some of your Monday with me.