What do you Value?
~ Authenticity with Self~
I still remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach towards the words spoken out loud.
Something did not sit right with me.
My spirit started to feel super uneasy.
Something about what was said just did not add up for me.
It was not the truth, and it was not from a place of honesty.
Why was I feeling panicky and uneasy about the conversation that was unfolding before me?
As I sat in the midst of this conversation my uneasiness started to form thoughts in my mind.
This is not right… this is not truth… this, is not honesty.
In that moment I knew had to interrupt the conversation with a few, honest, and truth seeking questions.
I discerned that there was a need to acknowledge what was being said was not true.
But, why did this bother me so much?
Why did I feel so uneasy?
We all have core values in our lives that help steer us towards decisions, thoughts and choices.
In this case, my value of honesty was breaking through.
Honesty needed to be present for my calmness to return.
Have you ever been in this situation?
Maybe not necessarily around honesty, but a choice or decision someone else made that did not line up with your values and left you feeling uneasy?
Dr. John Townsend in his book, Leading from your Gut, tells us that values are a part of our internal DNA. They are our aspects of reality that we use as guides and they help tell us what is right and what matters.
Values are the bedrock of our identity.
Part of the journey towards finding our authentic self will be an exploration of our values.
What do you value?
What values are most important to you in your life?
What stirs you up?
What brings your peace?
John Townsend tells us that a good place to start finding what your true, core values are is to look at these indicators:
- When your values are not lived out, it bothers you.
- When your values are lived out, you know why.
- You experience your values more than remind yourself about them.
- You make a direct connection between values and a good outcome.
Here is an exercise John gives to help you sort through your thoughts around values and how to determine what they might be:
1. Identify your aspirational values (truths you desire to live out)
Set one primary aspirational role (i.e., whatever God values, I will value)
Look to your aspirational role models- what values do they live by?
Do a web search/ research the value
2. Identify your observable values- what values am I already living out?
Healthy observable values (you at your best) vs unhealthy (you at not your best)
3. Pare down your list
Create a list of 3-7 values to keep with you as a reminder
Value examples: love (for God and others), responsibility, living in freedom, holiness, engagement in growth, meaningful career, service, giving back, stewardship, obedience, wisdom, character, the gospel etc.
Our values show us the deep parts of ourselves that truly matter. They tell us what we care about and what we want in our lives and what we do not.
Finding your values is a great place to start knowing yourself in more authentic ways.
It will help your sort out the things in your life that will aid living more in line with what is authentic to you.
When you start acknowledging your values and why they are important, it is another piece to the puzzle that is you.
The more you know about you and how you are wired, the more satisfying your life will be as it will bring you the wisdom to make choices that are best for you and you will be setting yourself up for success.
Would you want to discuss the topic further? You can always reach out to me on the contact page of my website here or DM on my Instagram page, @meganh1885.
I hope your journey to discovering your values is one that will bring you more understanding of yourself and why values matter.